Identity, Centripetal and Centrifugal Forces, and the Indifference of Love

The present autoethnography uses stories, pauses for reflection, and social scientific theory to explore two-plus years of identity deconstruction, as well passive active reconstruction, following a diagnosis acute myeloid leukemia eventual stem cell transplant. I cast these parallel processes in terms centripetal force, result loss volition expressed through victim/patient syndrome, monitoring fatigue, disability bias, isolation, dehumanization; and, centrifugal force characterized by an increase the contemplative practices centering prayer, T’ai Chi, guided imagery. Central is dynamism between nonresistance refocus. finish this exploration suggesting that two manifestations are spaciousness love arising from indifference.